Say yes to ‘No!’

Everyday life

Have you ever been in a situation where your co-workers and friends press you to make a decision on the spot?  

Are you the kind of person who finds herself or himself always compelled to say ‘Yes’ to anyone’s request?  

Picture thisyou are at your workplace.  

It’s 7pm and you have clocked in your hours for the day.  

‘Time to head back home and pop open a cold one’ – you tell yourself.

Right before you can pack your bag and grab your coat to leave, your boss comes to you and says – ‘Hey, we got a new task that just came in from the client and we need it done by today. You think you can stay back and finish it up?’ 

Let’s assess – a request with no tinge of force or aggression from your boss. 

You think to yourself – ‘Hey, maybe I should stay back and get it done.’ 

You inform your boss of your decision. He gives you a condescending smile and a thumbs up of approval – and leaves for the day – while you’re now stuck at office for the night.

Congratulations. You are now a “Yes Person”. 

“But I can’t say no to anyone!” 

… is the common response you get from any “Yes Person”. And that’s generally a sign that they put their well being at a lower priority compared to the well being of the people around him or her. 

Now your immediate reaction is – ‘Hey, there’s nothing wrong with selflessness’.

… which is a valid point. But everything is good in moderation. It’s when you do it in excess that it becomes a problem. 

And yes, being overly selfless serves to harm only yourself.  

“How can being a ‘Yes Person’ harm me? I would imagine that makes me endearing to the people around me, right?”

Maybe. But this world isn’t perfect. And for every kind hearted soul who appreciates your helpfulness with a pat on the back and a smile, there’s a douchebag waiting to take advantage of it. 

Whether it is in the form of a “friend” who calls you in the middle of the night asking for financial aid to help with a crisis (and yet, hasn’t spoken to you for months before that).  

Or maybe an extremely “nice” boss who requests you to clock in some extra hours, with no extra pay. 

It’s ok to say ‘no’ once in a while.

I have encountered several people in my life who just don’t have it in them to say the N word. And as a result, they end up getting caught in a vicious cycle of assenting and agreeing to every request thrown at them.  

Put the oxygen mask on yourself before assisting others with theirs

Never ever feel like saying ‘no’ is a sign of being insensitive or rude. It is merely a word that conveys your unavailability to comply to a certain request because you just don’t have the bandwidth for it – or maybe you just simply don’t want to. ( You’re still a nice person, don’t worry! 🙂 )

If you’re in an environment where saying ‘yes’ to everything is the norm – whether at a workplace or with a social circle – you either need to get out of it, or make a change.  

Don’t ever feel pressured to do something you don’t want to do. Your well being and mental health are above all else – and don’t you forget that! 

Say yes to ‘No!’. 

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